Shhhh I'm Sitting on my Balls (Skeleton) Sticker
Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls – Funny Skeleton Sticker
Introducing: “Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls”, the funny sticker you didn’t know you needed until your lower half made direct contact with the worst geometry known to man.
Complete with a skeleton design just barely holding it together, this sticker is a shrine to one of life’s most humbling moments.
This Funny Skeleton Sticker Speaks to the Soul (and Scrotum)
Let’s break it down.
This is a sticker for:
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Guys who’ve ever sat down too fast and saw the face of God
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People who live in a permanent state of “what now”
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Skeleton lovers with deeply unserious brains
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Folks who value silence only in moments of testicular betrayal
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Sad little dudes with big sticker energy
This isn’t a vibe. This is a diagnosis.
This funny sticker is not subtle, but neither is the pain.
Wear it loud. Wear it proud. And keep it low to the ground.
Product Specs – Designed for Tragedy Survivors
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Size: 8.5" x 2.5"
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Material: Commercial-grade vinyl
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Finish: Semi-gloss for emotional shine
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Sticker Version: Permanent (unlike the feeling in your legs)
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Magnet (20 mil): Reusable like your last excuse
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Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Cold-resistant like your ex
Printed by a small business that also quietly suffers daily.
Where to Stick It (Besides Your Seat)
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Back bumper of your sedan-turned-sadvan
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Your bathroom mirror, for warning purposes
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Laptop you haven’t updated since your last lapse in judgment
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Office chair (for thematic continuity)
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Fridge, toolbox, or side of your emotional support cooler
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Skeleton shrine (don’t pretend you don’t have one)
This funny skeleton sticker belongs wherever silence and violence collide.
Sticker vs. Magnet – Choose Your Recovery Mode
Sticker:
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Permanent. Like the trauma.
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Best for ride-or-die sticker heads
Magnet (20 mil):
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Swappable for when life keeps switching positions
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A little forgiveness goes a long way
Magnet Upgrade (30 mil):
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Sticks harder than a regret
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Great for winter. Or weak pelvises.
Modern bumpers are plastic, so slap magnets on your trunk, doors, or any place you sit wrong.
Application Instructions – Hold Still, It's Tender
Sticker:
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Clean the surface (emotionally or physically)
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Peel like you’re removing a medical bandage
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Stick with the precision of someone trying to avoid another incident
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Let cure for 24 hours while you reflect in shame
Magnet:
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Toss it like your dignity
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Walk away
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Assume the position (carefully)
FAQs – Fully Asked Questions
Is this funny sticker waterproof?
Yes. Pain doesn’t pause for weather.
Will this actually help?
Emotionally? Absolutely. Physically? No. Seek ice.
Can I gift this to my sad homie?
That’s the only kind of homie worth gifting it to.
Is the skeleton sitting too?
You bet your sweet pelvic region he is.
A Word from the Bones
“Shhhh I’m Sitting on My Balls” is a funny sticker that understands you.
It’s been there. It’s been you.
And now? It’s telling your story in 8.5 inches of unfiltered, bone-chilling truth.
We all have our quiet battles.
Some just happen to be extremely located in the groin.
Buy the sticker.
Warn the others.
And for the love of God—sit down slower.
Welcome to Frog Mustard — home of unhinged, weatherproof, high-quality chaos for your car. Est. 2023. Over 50,000 sold, 7,000+ five-star reviews, featured in the New York Times, and stocked in 70+ retail stores (including Zumiez). You're in weird company.
🐸 PRODUCT INFO:
-Rectangular designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly. Mockup images are not to scale.
💪 MATERIAL:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant
🧲 MAGNETS:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil on our site — recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.
🧼 STICKER APPLICATION:
-Clean surface with water (avoid detergent or alcohol - but if you must use it - make sure it is all removed prior to applying).
-Dry fully. Apply to smooth, glossy, non-textured areas.
-Press from center out to avoid bubbles.
⚠️ MAGNET APPLICATION:
-Only sticks to metal — bumpers on newer cars are often plastic.
-Air bubbles? Normal. Heat helps flatten them.
-Remove before car washes or extreme weather conditions.
❗ DISCLAIMERS:
-We don’t offer refunds for application to textured/plastic/dirty surfaces.
-Minor variations in cut/print are normal — these are handmade.
-These are glossy/smooth surface, road, and car tested. You assume the risk if you apply to a weird surface.
-If your order arrives damaged, just message us — we’ll make it right.
📦 SHIPPING:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide 🌍
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via Etsy or Pitney Bowes.
🎁 ALSO FROM FROG MUSTARD:
Monthly Sticker Subscriptions at frogmustardstickers.com
Submit a design to our monthly Frog Army Sticker Stars contest and win a free sticker or magnet!
Follow @frogmustardstickers for memes, giveaways, and general chaos
WHY FROG MUSTARD?
Because we are the best.
Questions? hello@frogmustardstickers.com
🛒 frogmustardstickers.com
🧷 TAGS: funny bumper sticker, weird car magnet, unhinged vinyl decal, frog mustard stickers, waterproof magnet