On My Way To Jury Guilt (He's Guilty - I Already Decided)
On My Way To Jury Guilt – He’s Guilty I Already Decided – Funny Bumper Sticker
Civic Duty? Nah. Pre-Meditated Judgment.
Forget “innocent until proven guilty”—your mind’s made up, your car’s in drive, and your bumper sticker just told the whole freeway how this trial ends.
This is not legal advice. This is a rolling confession. A threat to due process. An aggressive act of vehicular honesty. At 8.5 inches wide and 2.5 inches tall, this funny bumper sticker is designed to turn heads and terrify attorneys.
Whether you're serving on an actual jury or just deeply opinionated on things you barely read about, this sticker lets people know you don’t wait for opening arguments—you go straight to the verdict.
What Is “Jury Guilt”?
Jury guilt is a state of mind. It’s what happens when you get that summons in the mail and immediately start practicing your stare of disapproval. It’s civic engagement meets pure, uncut bias.
This bumper sticker declares to the world that you’ve already made up your mind—and now you’re heading into that courthouse with the energy of a judge, executioner, and chaos gremlin all rolled into one.
Why This Bumper Sticker Slaps (and Possibly Offends)
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It’s painfully funny and legally questionable
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It confuses traffic and terrifies prosecutors
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It says “I don’t trust the system, but I am the system”
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It’s perfect for people who love courtroom drama and unearned confidence
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It’s an instant red flag. In a good way.
Stick it on your bumper, briefcase, water bottle, or anywhere judgment needs to be delivered without warning.
Product Details
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Size: 8.5" x 2.5"
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Material: Weatherproof commercial vinyl
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Finish: Semi-gloss
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Sticker Option: Permanent. For people who stand by their ruling.
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Magnet Option (20 mil): Reusable, removable
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Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Frost-proof for cold-hearted justice
Proudly printed by a small business known for mixing high-quality print with low-quality impulse control.
Sticker vs Magnet – What Kind of Juror Are You?
Sticker Version
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Permanent
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For people who never change their minds. Ever.
Magnet Version (20 mil)
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Flexible
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Perfect for leased cars and emotional instability
Magnet Upgrade (30 mil)
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Heavy-duty
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Ideal for court parking lots in winter or morally cold environments
Most modern car bumpers are plastic. Test with a fridge magnet first. No verdict required.
Where To Stick It
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Your car
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Your laptop
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Your lunchbox (especially if you eat it alone in the courthouse lobby)
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Your fridge, next to other cold decisions
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The door of your neighbor who always plays devil’s advocate
Application Instructions
Sticker:
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Clean surface
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Peel and apply with the confidence of a hung jury foreman
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Press firmly from end to end
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Let cure for 24 hours
Magnet:
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Clean and dry a metal surface
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Slap on
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Remove occasionally and clean beneath
FAQ – Jury Bias Edition
Is this bumper sticker waterproof?
Yes. Just like your opinions, it won’t change in the face of evidence or weather.
Will this make me ineligible for jury duty?
Legally? No. Spiritually? Maybe. Either way, wear it proudly to the courthouse parking lot.
Is this giftable?
Absolutely. Ideal for law students, exes, true crime addicts, and people who say “I don’t need the facts—I’ve got vibes.”
Final Ruling
This funny bumper sticker isn’t just a joke. It’s a declaration of deeply biased civic pride. It’s the road version of “I know what I saw.”
If you’ve ever listened to one podcast and immediately become a judge, this is for you.
If you’ve ever been excused from jury duty for “body language,” this is for you.
If you're the kind of person who makes snap decisions and then yells about them—you’ve found your bumper sticker.
Buy it. Stick it.
Guilty. No further questions.
🚨 WARNING: These bumper stickers and magnets may cause laughing fits in traffic. 🚨
Welcome to Frog Mustard — home of unhinged, weatherproof, high-quality chaos for your car. Est. 2023. Over 50,000 sold, 7,000+ five-star reviews, featured in the New York Times, and stocked in 70+ retail stores (including Zumiez). You're in weird company.
🐸 PRODUCT INFO:
-Rectangular designs are approx. 8.5 x 2.5 inches
-Die-cuts are typically 3–4 inches
-Handmade! Sizing may vary slightly. Mockup images are not to scale.
💪 MATERIAL:
-Premium all-weather vinyl
-Waterproof, smudge-proof, fade-proof, car wash safe
-Apocalypse-resistant
🧲 MAGNETS:
-Standard magnets are 20 mil thick.
-Upgrade to 30 mil on our site — recommended for cold climates or aggressive winds.
🧼 STICKER APPLICATION:
-Clean surface with water (avoid detergent or alcohol - but if you must use it - make sure it is all removed prior to applying).
-Dry fully. Apply to smooth, glossy, non-textured areas.
-Press from center out to avoid bubbles.
⚠️ MAGNET APPLICATION:
-Only sticks to metal — bumpers on newer cars are often plastic.
-Air bubbles? Normal. Heat helps flatten them.
-Remove before car washes or extreme weather conditions.
❗ DISCLAIMERS:
-We don’t offer refunds for application to textured/plastic/dirty surfaces.
-Minor variations in cut/print are normal — these are handmade.
-These are glossy/smooth surface, road, and car tested. You assume the risk if you apply to a weird surface.
-If your order arrives damaged, just message us — we’ll make it right.
📦 SHIPPING:
-Ships in 1–3 business days from Washington
-We ship worldwide 🌍
-Free shipping available. Note that free third-party shipping is only trackable via Etsy or Pitney Bowes.
🎁 ALSO FROM FROG MUSTARD:
Monthly Sticker Subscriptions at frogmustardstickers.com
Submit a design to our monthly Frog Army Sticker Stars contest and win a free sticker or magnet!
Follow @frogmustardstickers for memes, giveaways, and general chaos
WHY FROG MUSTARD?
Because we are the best.
Questions? hello@frogmustardstickers.com
🛒 frogmustardstickers.com
🧷 TAGS: funny bumper sticker, weird car magnet, unhinged vinyl decal, frog mustard stickers, waterproof magnet