Honk Bottom Text
Honk. Bottom Text. – Cursed Emoji Bumper Sticker
The Bumper Sticker Your Therapist Begged You Not to Buy
You’ve seen it in the deepest corners of the internet. A cursed emoji standing bare-assed like it just got caught exiting a Chili’s too fast. The phrase? Simple: “Honk. Bottom Text.”
This weatherproof bumper sticker (or magnet, if you're weak and afraid of commitment) is 8.5" x 2.5" of pure chaos energy. It's designed for people who have no interest in making sense and every interest in making people uncomfortable at intersections.
This is not just a sticker. It’s a glitch in the matrix.
🍑 What Is Bottom Text and Why Are You Screaming Honk?
“Bottom text” is the final evolution of meme decay. It’s the phrase you use when you gave up trying to be funny but still needed something at the bottom of your Impact-font masterpiece. It’s not ironic. It’s not sincere. It just is.
Combine that with a cursed emoji—a butt-forward abomination that looks like it was rejected from iOS for psychological damage—and you get a bumper sticker that dares to ask, “What if your car was a war crime?”
🛠️ Sticker Specs That Belong in a Museum (for Bad Decisions)
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Size: 8.5 inches x 2.5 inches – weirdly bold, weirdly long
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Material: Commercially printed, weatherproof vinyl – because chaos should last
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Finish: Smooth semi-gloss for maximum “why?” factor
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Options:
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Sticker: Permanent like your mistakes
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Magnet (20 mil): Removable for when your grandma borrows the car
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Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): For cold climates where even your decals need a therapist
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💀 Who Is This Bumper Sticker For?
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The terminally online
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People who laugh at memes with 15 pixels and 300 layers of JPEG compression
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Drivers who want everyone behind them to rethink their lives
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You. If you’re still reading this, it’s already in your cart emotionally.
📊 Reasons to Buy This Cursed Emoji Bumper Sticker
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You’re done making sense.
We all had our serious sticker phase. It’s over. You’ve evolved into someone who communicates via digital bathroom wall. -
You want to confuse and enrage.
Nothing screams “I live in a lawless void” like driving around with “Honk. Bottom Text.” on your bumper while a pixelated emoji exposes itself. -
It’s a warning.
Not for you—for everyone else. -
You’re supporting a small business run by two unhinged humans who love chaos and car decals.
🧲 Magnet vs. Sticker – Choose Your Flavor of Mental Decline
Sticker Version:
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Applies forever. Like trauma.
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Good for bumpers, laptops, water bottles, cursed altars
Magnet (20 mil):
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Removable, just like your last shred of dignity
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Great if your car pulls double duty as your grandma’s Sunday ride
Magnet Upgrade (30 mil):
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Weatherproofed for frozen hellscapes
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Holds tight like intrusive thoughts
Note: Most bumpers are plastic. Try your trunk, door, or fridge. Test with a regular magnet first unless you enjoy yelling at inanimate objects.
🧼 Installation Tips for the Spiritually Dehydrated
Sticker:
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Clean your surface. (Don’t skip this, gremlin.)
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Peel and slap it on. Apply pressure like you’re pretending everything’s fine.
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Avoid cold temps during application. Or don’t. You do you.
Magnet:
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Place it on clean, flat metal.
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Don’t try to make it stick to your Tesla. Elon's not helping you.
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Remove and clean every few weeks to avoid rust rings and government surveillance.
🧠 FAQ – Bottom Text Edition
Q: Is the cursed emoji actually copyrighted?
A: We don’t know. And we don’t want to.
Q: Will this bottom text bumper sticker last in the rain?
A: Oh yeah. Weatherproof, sunproof, shameproof.
Q: Will this sticker make people honk at me?
A: Probably. And every honk is earned.
Q: Can I use this to ward off energy vampires and pyramid scheme recruiters?
A: We’d be shocked if it didn’t.
Q: What if I regret it?
A: You won’t. But that’s cute.
💬 Final Thoughts from the Internet’s Basement
You’re not here for a tasteful decal. You’re here to weaponize your bumper.
You want people to stare into the vinyl abyss and question their digital footprint.
With “Honk. Bottom Text.” and a cursed emoji no corporate keyboard would dare approve, you’re creating chaos with precision.
You’re not advertising. You’re issuing a challenge.
So go ahead—be the reason someone drives home in silence.
Buy it. Slap it. Honk if you understand.
(But you won’t. And that’s the point.)