Don't Pass Me – I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb and I'm Not Afraid to Do It Again
Don’t Pass Me – I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb and I’m Not Afraid to Do It Again
Not a Bumper Sticker. A Declaration of Dominance.
This isn’t just a bumper sticker—it’s your origin story in bold lettering.
If you’ve ever merged aggressively while chewing on the weight of your past, this sticker is for you. If your birth certificate came with a kill count, and your therapist sighs when you walk in, you’ve found your people. This 8.5" x 2.5" weatherproof vinyl sticker doesn’t ask for space on the road—it demands it.
Printed in bold text that dares people to tailgate you, it reads:
“Don’t Pass Me – I Absorbed My Twin in the Womb and I’m Not Afraid to Do It Again.”
It's a threat. A joke. A spiritual statement.
And it belongs on your bumper.
Why This Bumper Sticker Works So Hard
This isn’t your average “baby on board.” This is full-blown vehicular intimidation, rooted in prenatal chaos. It’s an attention-grabber. A conversation starter. A traffic disrupter. A funny bumper sticker with unholy energy.
People will laugh. Some will gasp. A few might brake-check themselves just to keep a safe distance. One guy in a lifted truck might propose.
Whether you’re running errands, speeding through the left lane, or simply trying to survive a parking lot without confrontation, this sticker has your back—and your bumper.
Product Details
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Size: 8.5" x 2.5"
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Material: Commercial-grade weatherproof vinyl
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Finish: Smooth, semi-gloss for a clean, bold look
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Sticker Option: Applies permanently to clean surfaces
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Magnet Option (20 mil): Easily removable, reusable
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Magnet Upgrade (30 mil): Thicker, cold-resistant, ideal for metal bumpers in winter climates
Handmade by an aggressively strange small business in the U.S. (that hasn’t absorbed any twins… that we know of).
Magnet vs Sticker – Choose Your Path to Chaos
Sticker Version
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Permanent like your trauma
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For bumpers, laptops, coolers, lunchboxes, and rear windows
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Best for people who don’t plan to tone it down, ever
Magnet (20 mil)
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Reusable
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Great for switching vehicles or tricking your in-laws
Magnet (30 mil)
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Cold-proof
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Built for frozen parking lots, snow drift survival, and spiritual warfare
Most modern car bumpers are plastic—test yours with a magnet. If it doesn’t stick, go sticker and stay unhinged.
Installation Instructions
Sticker:
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Clean the surface thoroughly (alcohol wipe or soap and water)
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Peel the backing
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Apply slowly from one end, pressing firmly as you go
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Let it sit for 24 hours before washing your car
Magnet:
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Clean the surface (dirt weakens grip)
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Flatten the magnet on a smooth metal area
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Avoid sticking over curves or textured parts
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Remove and wipe behind it every few weeks to avoid buildup
FAQ – Absorbed Twin Energy Edition
Is this bumper sticker waterproof and weather-resistant?
Yes. It’s made from high-quality weatherproof vinyl and built to withstand rain, snow, sun, road grit, and your inner demons.
Will the magnet version work on any car?
Only if your car has metal panels. Most modern bumpers are plastic. Try placing it on your trunk, side doors, or any flat magnetic surface. If not, go with the sticker—it’s your destiny now.
Will people get the joke?
Some will. Some won’t. That’s the point. The right ones will laugh. The wrong ones will keep their distance. It’s a win-win.
Final Thoughts From the Womb
This funny sticker isn’t for the faint of heart. It’s for those who were born chaotic and stayed that way.
You're not just driving.
You’re surviving.
You're not just commuting.
You're warning.
Whether you actually absorbed a twin or just act like you did, this sticker makes your vehicle unforgettable. And probably a little feared.
Buy it. Stick it. Rule the road.
And remember: if they try to pass you… they’ve been warned.