Move! My Dinky n' Balls Hurt!
🔥 MOVE – MY DINKY N’ BALLS HURT 🔥
A Skeleton Sticker That Screams Testosterone, Pain, and Unapologetic Chaos
Sometimes life just hits you in the... well, you know. Whether it’s emotional trauma or a curb you didn’t see coming, this skeleton sticker delivers a public service announcement with skull-crushing energy: Move. My dinky n’ balls hurt.
Illustrated in screaming high-def glory, our badass flaming skeleton grips a gun like your prostate exam depends on it. This isn’t a sticker for subtle personalities. It’s for the folks with permanent back pain, zero patience, and a lead foot on the gas pedal. If your idea of conflict resolution is shouting “MOVE” through a rolled-down window while blasting metalcore, welcome home.
This skeleton isn’t here for your sympathy. He's got flames. He’s got heat. He’s got that haunted 1,000-yard stare of someone who’s felt true pain—probably from sitting on a gearshift or trying to impress someone at a dirt bike rally. Slap him on your bumper and make it everyone else’s problem.
Built for the Bold, the Bruised, and the Unmedicated
This skeleton sticker measures 8.5” x 2.5” and is printed on premium, weatherproof vinyl that could survive the apocalypse—and still stick to your bumper after. This isn't some thin, knockoff junk you'd find on Temu. This is thick-cut, U.S.-made vinyl that’s got the grip of a jealous ex.
Add it to your truck, your laptop, your water bottle, or the headboard of your twin bed at your ex’s house. Want it as a magnet? Hell yes, you do. Standard 20 mil for everyday rebellion. Upgrade to 30 mil for situations that involve winter roads, off-roading, or intense emotional instability. Either way, this skeleton isn’t going anywhere.
Cranked-Up Quality, Zero Weak Spots
We don’t mess around. This badass skeleton sticker is printed with commercial-grade UV-resistant ink that stays vibrant longer than your will to live. No lamination needed. No peeling. No fading. Just full-throttle color and edge-to-edge chaos.
We’ve tested our skeleton stickers in power washes, desert heat, snowstorms, and the tragic aftermath of Taco Bell runs. Still flawless. Still angry. Still screaming into the void—and looking good while doing it.
No pixelated garbage. No wimpy adhesive. No apologies.
We’re Alyssa and Brian—We Don’t Know Peace
We’re the gremlins behind Frog Mustard. Alyssa’s got ADHD and unresolved sticker-related vendettas. Brian has shoulder screws and magnet obsession disorder. Together, we’ve sold over 100,000 stickers and magnets, partnered with over 80 retail stores (shoutout to Zumiez), and built a vinyl empire off bad decisions and worse jokes.
Every order ships fast (1–2 days), every design is packed by hand, and every product is approved by us—two people who should absolutely not be left unsupervised with a printer. Free shipping in the U.S. and just $5 worldwide. No drop shipping, no bots, just raw sticker anarchy.
Why You Need This Skeleton Sticker:
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You’ve ever whispered "ow" getting out of a low car
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You believe traffic is a warzone
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Your pain threshold is higher than your bank balance
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You love skeletons with guns (you’re valid)
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You’ve been called “a bit much” before
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You just really hate sitting in traffic while in pain
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You want the world to know your groin situation is not up for debate
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You want a sticker with more attitude than your last 5 exes
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You’ve got a trunk full of regret and nowhere to be but the fast lane
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You live by the motto: No mercy, no suspension, no ibuprofen
FAQ
Q: Will this get me pulled over?
Only by people with taste.
Q: Can I stick this on a gun case, toolbox, or coffin?
Yes, yes, and hell yes.
Q: Is it waterproof?
Like your therapist's eyes after hearing your life story.
Q: Is this a small business?
Yup. No corporate suits. Just two weirdos, a skeleton army, and your poor, aching balls.