Nothing Will Fix This Shitshow Candle

A brutally honest scent for when the wheels have come off, the ship is sinking, and someone just suggested a team-building exercise. This candle smells like chaos, denial, and the comforting aroma of “we tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.”

Candle Scents

Basic Bitch Vanilla
Rich vanilla bean introduced with warm undertones of Tonka bean & whipped cocoa.

Sugar & Spite
Brown sugar and cinnamon stick with a lemon blend, vanilla extract & pralines.

Bitch Relax!
A fresh fusion of Eucalyptus and Lavender with a twist of earthy undertones.

Hot Lumberjack
A cool and woodsy blend of balsam, crisp eucalyptus, fir branches and cedarwood.

Beachside Meltdown
A burst of citrus collides with lavender, cedarwood & jasmine petals coupled with hints of patchouli, crushed rosemary & oakmoss.

Materials:

100% natural soy wax blend, 100% cotton wick, and a glass jar
2.25″ × 3" 
Burning time: 50-60 hours

How to Use

Keep the burning candle within sight, and keep away from children and pets. Never burn the candle near flammable items. For best results, burn the candle for 3 - 4 hours in each lighting and trim the wick to 1/4" before lighting. Discontinue use with 1/2" of wax remaining.