Misfortune Cookies

Bite-sized despair, baked to perfection.

Tired of the same old sugar-coated “You’ll do great things” nonsense?

Introducing Misfortune Cookies —the deliciously cynical twist on the classic fortune cookie. Each cookie contains a brutally honest, wildly inappropriate, and questionably legal message guaranteed to ruin your day… or make it way funnier.

These aren’t your grandma’s fortune cookies (unless your grandma is deeply unwell). Inside every crispy shell lies a dark little gem of wisdom like:

“Your coworkers talk about you. Not in a fun way.”

“Your soulmate just swiped left.”

“This is probably the highlight of your week. Savor it.”

Perfect for parties, gifts, or giving your HR department something else to worry about. They’re sweet, they’re snarky, and they taste like regret with a hint of vanilla.

Misfortune Cookies : Because life doesn’t always hand you lemons—sometimes it just flips you off.

🔮 100% edible.
❌ 0% inspirational.
💔 Not responsible for emotional damage.

Eat at your own risk.