It's Only a Gambling "Problem" When I'm Losing
- $10.50
- $10.50
Looking for a meme sticker that perfectly captures your questionable financial decisions? Congratulations, you've found your people. 🎰
WHY THIS MASTERPIECE HITS:
- Size: 8.5" x 2.5" of pure copium
- Choose your bet: Weatherproof vinyl or magnetic format
- More durable than your bankroll
- UV-resistant (unlike your credit score)
- Perfect for hiding the repo man's marks
MAGNETIC OPTION: For those who like to switch positions (like your portfolio):
- Industrial-strength grip (stronger than your will to stop)
- Available in standard or 30mil thickness for cold climates
- Removable faster than your savings
- Perfect for when you need to look "responsible" to the bank
VINYL OPTION: For those going all in:
- Premium weatherproof vinyl that lasts longer than your hot streak
- Professional-grade adhesive that sticks better than your bookie
- UV-resistant because some losses should be permanent
WHO NEEDS THIS? YOU DO, IF:
- You consider "double or nothing" financial advice
- Your retirement plan is "one more hand"
- You've ever said "I'm due for a win"
- Your favorite numbers are "all in"
- You think WSB is financial literacy
- Your spouse doesn't need to know everything
QUALITY THAT BEATS THE HOUSE: Each Frog Mustard meme sticker is:
- Made with premium materials (unlike your life choices)
- Printed with high-resolution detail (sharper than your poker face)
- Quality checked by fellow degenerates
- Packaged with care (and a gambling addiction hotline number)
REAL REVIEWS FROM REAL PLAYERS:
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Put this on my car right before the repo man came. He laughed so hard he gave me an extra day." - Mike D.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "My financial advisor saw this and fired me. Fair enough." - Jessica R.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Bought this with my winnings. Now it's the only thing I own." - Kyle T.
⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Wife didn't think it was funny. Boyfriend loved it." - Chad M.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ "Perfect for the Wendy's dumpster meetups" - WSB Steve
WARNING: Side effects may include:
- Uncontrollable urge to explain probability theory to strangers
- Developing a mysterious cough when passing ATMs
- Referring to your children's college fund as "seed money"
- Finding yourself in first-name basis with casino staff
- Explaining to people that you're "actually up overall"
- Sudden expertise in sports you've never watched
TECHNICAL SPECS FOR DEGENS:
- Dimensions: 8.5" x 2.5" (bigger than your chances of breaking even)
- Material: Premium vinyl or industrial-grade magnet
- Durability: Outlasts your bankroll
- Cope level: Maximum
THE DEGEN DICTIONARY (INCLUDED FREE):
- "Investment Strategy" = Throwing money at random things
- "Research" = Looking at rocket emojis on Reddit
- "Day Trading" = Gambling with extra steps
- "Diamond Hands" = Can't sell because you're down 99%
- "Technical Analysis" = Astrology for gamblers
- "Risk Management" = Concept unknown
THE FROG MUSTARD GUARANTEE: We stand behind our products like you stand behind your "foolproof system." If your meme sticker doesn't meet expectations, we'll make it right (unlike your bookie).
RESPONSIBLE GAMBLING DISCLAIMER: This meme sticker is intended for entertainment purposes only. If you relate too hard to this product, maybe it's time for a chat with someone professional. Not financial advice. Or life advice. Or any kind of advice really.
Remember: Life is a casino, and this meme sticker is your VIP pass to embracing the chaos.
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PLACES TO PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS MEME STICKER:
- Outside your favorite casino (until they ask you to leave)
- The parking lot of your former financial advisor
- Your backup car (because the main one is... temporarily unavailable)
- Your wife's boyfriend's Tesla
- The local payday loan office
- Outside Gamblers Anonymous (power move)
- Your court-appointed therapist's office
- The bank that denied your loan
- Your parent's house (they've given up anyway)
- Anywhere except your kids' school pickup line
THE DEGEN'S DAILY AFFIRMATIONS:
- "Red days are just discounted buying opportunities"
- "Sleep is for people who don't have positions in Asian markets"
- "Money isn't real anyway"
- "It's not a loss until you sell"
- "The market is manipulated (but only when I lose)"
- "Warren Buffett started somewhere too"
- "Sir, this is a casino"
- "Leverage is just spicy money"
- "Behind every great fortune is a great crime (or meme stock)"
- "YOLO isn't just a saying, it's a lifestyle"
EVOLUTION OF A DEGEN (SPIRIT ANIMAL EDITION): 🐥 Level 1: Scratch-off Rookie
- Still believes in bankroll management
- Only gambles on birthdays
- Thinks sports betting requires skill
🦊 Level 2: Fantasy Sports Expert
- "I'm not gambling, I'm analyzing statistics"
- Has 17 different betting apps
- Knows exactly how much is in their 401k (tempting)
🦅 Level 3: Options Trader
- Discovered leverage
- Understands Greek letters (not really)
- "It's basically free money"
🦍 Level 4: Diamond Hands
- Portfolio down 97%
- "I'm in it for the technology"
- Still won't sell
🐋 Level 5: Enlightened Degen (You Are Here)
- Embraces the chaos
- Loves the pain
- Proudly displays this meme sticker
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:
Q: Is this meme sticker tax deductible? A: Like your gambling losses, you can try, but we don't recommend it.
Q: Will this sticker bring me luck? A: If you believe in luck, you're already our target audience.
Q: Can I pay for this in crypto? A: Sir, we may be degenerates, but we still need real money.
Q: Does this come with financial advice? A: The only advice we give is "This is not financial advice."
Q: Will this sticker help me stop gambling? A: If anything, it might make it worse. But at least you'll look cool doing it.
#DEGENSUNITE #HOUSEALWAYSWINS #FROGMUSTARD #COPIUM
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