{"product_id":"light-this-candle-when-you-need-everyone-to-f-off","title":"Light This Candle When You Need Everyone To F' Off","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"0\" data-end=\"63\"\u003eLight this when your patience has officially left the building.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"65\" data-end=\"232\"\u003eFor those days when every email feels personal, every question is unnecessary, and every coworker is testing your last nerve… this candle says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eA bold blend of “not my problem,” layered with “absolutely not,” and a lingering finish of “go away.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"234\" data-end=\"375\"\u003eBasically, it smells like boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"377\" data-end=\"501\"\u003ePerfect for your desk, your home office, or anywhere you need a little peace, quiet, and significantly fewer people talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"503\" data-end=\"553\"\u003eLight it. Stare into the flame. Ignore everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"555\" data-end=\"590\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003eGo ahead… reclaim your damn sanity.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Corporate Snark","offers":[{"title":"Basic Bitch Vanilla","offer_id":54557435953427,"sku":"sku-51996123627832","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Beachside Meltdown","offer_id":54557435986195,"sku":"sku-51996123660600","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bitch Relax!","offer_id":54557436018963,"sku":"sku-51996123693368","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Hot Lumberjack","offer_id":54557436051731,"sku":"sku-51996123726136","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sugar \u0026 Spite","offer_id":54557436084499,"sku":"sku-51996123758904","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/IMG_5516.png?v=1786376765","url":"https:\/\/suatmm.com\/products\/light-this-candle-when-you-need-everyone-to-f-off","provider":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","version":"1.0","type":"link"}