{"title":"Penis Products","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"gummy-bag-of-dicks-sent-anonymously","title":"Premium Bag of Gummy Dicks","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey are what they eat, that's why they're a dick! Send a Premium Bag Of Gummy Dicks anonymously to anyone who deserves a tasty dick treat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePremium Bag of Gummy Dicks sent anonymously with a stock message, this product will get your point across in a way that nobody will mistake. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Pranks Anonymous","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":20169762898031,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/2_acdea288-a42d-45c7-9f8f-d66041af2934.webp?v=1679523790"},{"product_id":"personalized-penis-mug","title":"Personalized Penis Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eHaven’t had dick in a while and wanna show it? Well then the “Personalized Penis Mug” is perfect for you. Highlight your desperation in a whimsical penis font. Your name will be beautifully displayed on a nice, white, ceramic mug. This hysterical mug will have you pulling bitches left and right. Need a cup of coffee and morning sex? No problem, because your personalized penis mug got you covered. So stand out and buy your penis coffee cup.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ePersonalize and Accessorize your Penis Mug;\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eYes, the mug comes with it.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePersonalize with YOUR name, unless you wanna be Jessica.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eBeautiful penis font.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e11oz ceramic mug.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003ePerfect gift for any holiday or event.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":29390944960623,"sku":"","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/personalized-penis-mug.jpg?v=1562667179"},{"product_id":"tirecockz-glow-in-the-dark-valve-stem","title":"Tirecockz Prank Penis Shaped Valve Stem Cap - 4 Pack","description":"\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDescription: \u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eMay not be your standard 8-inches, but it’s bigger than any of your other hookups. What’s better than its length you ask? Being able to prank the sh*t out of your family and friends. Cover that valve stem cap with the beauty and the style known as “TireCockz.” These first ever weenie caps will have jaws dropping and minds blown (no literally). The perfect gift for any gathering: Bachelor\/Bachelorette, Birthdays, Weddings, and hell even funerals. Now suck it up and purchase your very own TireCockz.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePatented Design Protected by U.S. Patent #D991156\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eOfficial Cock Mobile Design:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWith a standard length of 1.625-inches (including balls).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCan screw on to any Schrader style valve stem (most common valve stem in car tires\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eContains four cocks in each pack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eA multitude of colors (for the risky: we have glow in the dark).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUsed for cars, bikes, motorcycles (etc.).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eNo the black cocks aren’t bigger.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eGreat for pranking and gag gifts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ciframe width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BZ00_3fo5Dk\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/iframe\u003e","brand":"ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney","offers":[{"title":"Glow In The Dark","offer_id":29480819687535,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black","offer_id":29502094442607,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":29502094508143,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver","offer_id":31136427868271,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red","offer_id":29502094344303,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":29502094377071,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange","offer_id":29502094475375,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/2_90419563-81e8-4441-8645-a660b4f11cb7.jpg?v=1686615414"},{"product_id":"package-arrived","title":"Package Arrived Funny Greeting Card","description":"\u003cspan\u003eWant to make someone BUST… into laughter? Well this shocking greeting card featuring a dick in its final explosive moment of pleasure should do the trick.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe playful front design of this card featuring a mailbox with the words “YOUR PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED” is sure to keep the recipient clueless to the hilarious design that awaits them. Upon opening the card they will be greeted with an explosive cock literally popping straight off the paper.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eSize queens may be a bit disappointed as this schlong only measures in at about 4.5 inches in length.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect Gift For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis funny penis greeting card is a great gag gift for anyone you care about. Gift this card to anyone having a bachelorette party, birthday, playful anniversary card, or just to share a laugh with your great friends. Just remember, if they don’t like it “Fuck ‘em”.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eGreeting Card Size: 5” X 7”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eEnvelope Size: 5” X 7”\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003eNote Card Size: 4” X 6”\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Dirty Pop Cards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":31882559422575,"sku":"","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/ezgif-1-ba9fa33e1f35.gif?v=1627691286"},{"product_id":"merry-dickmas-inappropriate-christmas-card","title":"Merry Dickmas Inappropriate Christmas Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWe wish you a merry Dickmas, we wish you a merry Dickmas, we wish you a merry Dickmas, and a huge D for New Years.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e That crazy D*ck lover will shoot you a naughty grin as soon as they put hands on this  “Merry Dickmas” card. Watch their jaw drop as they open this card which features a sexy Mrs. Clause topping her tree with a replica of Santas junk. Laugh with them when they notice the Dickmas Tree is decked out with Santas wrinkled jingle balls.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWe have a sneaky suspicion that Santa has Mrs. Clause Dickmatized this year.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ePerfect Occasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThere is only 1 occasion for this, and that's CHRISTMAS!! \u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWhat's Inside:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCard size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEnvelope size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNote card for handwritten message: 4” x 6” (10cm x 15cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e“Merry DICKmas” on front cover\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eInside of card reveals 3D pop up Christmas tree decorated with penises and balls\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dirty Pop Cards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32208365486191,"sku":"","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/ezgif.com-gif-maker_10.jpg?v=1606027041"},{"product_id":"tirecockz-christmas-edition","title":"TireCockz Prank Valve Stem Caps Christmas Edition","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eTirecockz: Christmas Edition\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eDeck your balls with cockz of merry fa la la la la la la la la. They’re back! But more merrier and can I say harder too? Get festive for the upcoming holidays with the one, the only Tirecockz. Bring in the season greetings with our red and green cockz. Our “6” inch cockz will keep you more satisfied and pleased about the holiday season. Let our Tirecockz constantly remind us of the Christmas Spirit that lies within.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDie Hard Christmas Cockz:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWith a standard length of 1.625 inches (including balls).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eContains four cocks in each pack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eContains Grinch Green and Hard Red.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUsed for cars, bikes, motorcycles (etc.).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eFYI these are actual Elf penises.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eGreat for pranking and gag gifts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUS Patent #D991156\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"SUATMM","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32215786324079,"sku":"","price":11.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/tirecockz-christmas-cockz-watermarked.jpg?v=1638181458"},{"product_id":"the-d-inappropriate-3d-dick-card","title":"The D Inappropriate 3D Dick Greeting Card","description":"\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e“The D” AKA that big black veiny MFer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis very adult 3D greeting card will have anyone gasping for air when “The D” makes its royal f**king entrance. The outside of this hugely inappropriate pop-up card features a very considerate warning that says “Enter At Own Risk”. As this card is opened with glee, the biggest, blackest, and veiniest behemoth of a penis will sucker punch the unsuspecting heir of this 3D dick.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAnd yes, this is a human dick. No, they never go back.\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ePerfect Occasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003ci data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/i\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-style=\"font-weight: 400;\" data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDirty birthday cards for girlfriend, gag gift for bachelorette\/bachelor, naughty anniversary cards for wife\/husband, erotic penis cards for women\/men, happy *fucking* birthday for her\/him, offensive card for baby shower, adult joke dick card for any occasion, and more.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cb data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWhat’s Inside:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCard size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEnvelope size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNote card for handwritten message: 4” x 6” (10cm x 15cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e“Enter At Own Risk” on the front cover\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eInside of card: big, black, 3D pop-up dick\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Dirty Pop Cards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32326221037679,"sku":"","price":16.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/ezgif.com-gif-maker_6_d3e6cf5f-4ff8-445c-983a-011561d1bdc1.jpg?v=1613643105"},{"product_id":"bouquet-of-dicks-love-greeting-card","title":"Bouquet of Dicks Love Greeting Card","description":"\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e15 *tips* to make ‘em swoon...\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eMore penis puns...coming. Our Dick Bouquet card has so many tips, it’s impossible to not make your Valentine laugh *clears throat* hard. The outside of this adult 3D greeting card features a set of neatly packaged...packages. As your “honey” opens this flowery surprise, a full collection of multi-directional, 3D ween will burst from the centerfold.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eIf you want to get past 3rd base, send this instead of another eggplant emoji.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003ePerfect Occasions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDirty Valentine’s Day cards for boyfriend or girlfriend, funny Anniversary cards for husband or wife, adult 3D greeting cards couples, cheeky gag gifts for spouse, and more.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eWhat’s Inside:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eCard size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eEnvelope size: 5” x 7” (13cm x 18cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eNote card for handwritten message: 4” x 6” (10cm x 15cm)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eBouquet of dicks on front cover\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eInside of the card has several pop up penises\u003c\/span\u003e","brand":"Dirty Pop Cards","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":32326221594735,"sku":"","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/products\/DP1012_Inside_BouquetofDicks_720x_66a7a739-91b3-40ac-97e9-9fd62c0c7125.png?v=1613701790"},{"product_id":"the-d-inappropriate-3d-dick-card-color-variation-white","title":"The D Inappropriate 3D Dick Card (Color Variation: White)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e“The D” AKA that big white veiny MFer\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eThis very adult 3D greeting card will have anyone gasping for air when “The D” makes its royal f**king entrance. The outside of this hugely inappropriate pop up card features a very considerate warning that says “Enter At Own Risk”. As this card is opened with glee, the biggest, whitest, and the veiniest behemoth of a penis will sucker punch the unsuspecting heir of this 3D dick.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eAnd yes, this is a human dick. 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It's the perfect way to show your Halloween spirit and your sense of humor!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e🧛‍♂️ Count Me In!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDon't miss out on the most hilarious Halloween prank for your ride. Get your Tirecockz Halloweenie - Penis-Shaped Prank Valve Stem Caps now and give your car a costume that will leave everyone howling with laughter!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003eDisclaimer: These valve stem caps are all in good fun and should be used responsibly. 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It's time to werk it, own it, and snatch up your very own TireCockz! Because remember, if you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an amen up in here?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePatented Design Protected by U.S. Patent #D991156\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eOfficial Cock Mobile Design:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eWith a standard length of 1.625-inches (including balls).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eCan screw on to any Schrader style valve stem (most common valve stem in car tires\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eContains FIVE cocks in each pack.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eA multitude of colors (for the risky: we have glow in the dark).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eUsed for cars, bikes, motorcycles (etc.).\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eNo the black cocks aren’t bigger.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-weight: 400;\"\u003eGreat for pranking and gag gifts.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ciframe width=\"560\" height=\"315\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/BZ00_3fo5Dk\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture\" allowfullscreen=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/iframe\u003e","brand":"ShutUpAndTakeMyMoney","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":48237810319635,"sku":null,"price":12.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/TirecockzPride.jpg?v=1709179917"},{"product_id":"biggest-micropenis-in-the-world-meme-shirt","title":"Biggest Micropenis In The World Meme Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eMade with 100% ring-spun combed cotton, this crew neck tee is great for breathability. 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Introducing the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I Thought You Could Use Some Dick\" Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– the perfect mix of fruity sweetness and absolute hilarity. Packed with gummy dicks, this heart-covered masterpiece is what you send when you want to say, “I care, but also... LOL.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it’s for your\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003egirlfriend\u003c\/strong\u003e, your\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003esingle friend\u003c\/strong\u003e, or your secret crush, this\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebag of dicks candy\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003edoes the talking for you. Want to keep it anonymous? No problem. Want to make it personal? Even better. Either way, you’re delivering a message they won’t forget anytime soon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat Makes This Bag of Dicks the MVP of Gifts?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFruity, Delicious, and Questionably Shaped\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– These\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edick gummies\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eare so good they might even forget to be offended.\u003cbr\u003e💌\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSay It Without Saying It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– “Happy Valentine’s Day, Dick.” Subtle? Nope. Funny? Absolutely.\u003cbr\u003e😂\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFor Every Occasion\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Birthday? Prank? Valentine’s Day? This bag does it all.\u003cbr\u003e📬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAnonymous Prank Gold\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e–\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShip a bag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003estraight to their door and let the confusion (and laughs) begin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eFunny Valentine’s Gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– A heart-covered\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003evalentines day dick\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis the romance they didn’t know they needed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSingle Friends Who Need a Laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Wondering\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ewhat to get your single friend\u003c\/strong\u003e? Problem solved.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGirlfriends Who Get It\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Because nothing says \"I love you\" like gummy penises.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAnyone Who Deserves a Laugh (or a Sack of Sass)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– No explanation needed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether they laugh, cry, or immediately pop one in their mouth, this\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis going to be a hit. So go ahead, be the legend who sent the gift that says, “Happy F’ing Valentine’s Day” or “Eat a Bag of Dicks.” It’s funny, delicious, and just inappropriate enough to make their day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIf you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50292001308947,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/IMG_9240.webp?v=1736495907"},{"product_id":"pride-rainbow-bag-of-gummy-dicks","title":"Pride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePride Rainbow Bag of Gummy Dicks -🌈🍬🍆\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNeed a gift that screams\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003efun\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003efabulous\u003c\/em\u003e? Meet the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePride Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, the ultimate Pride-themed candy sack that’s as colorful as your personality. Packed with fruity, rainbow-colored\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, this bag is the perfect mix of sweet, inappropriate, and absolutely hilarious.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether you’re sending it to a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efriend who loves a good laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e, surprising someone at a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePride celebration\u003c\/strong\u003e, or pulling off an anonymous prank, this\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003egets the job done with style. Sweet, sassy, and unapologetically bold—this is how you say “Love is love” with a side of candy-coated humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You Need This Bag of Dicks:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🌈\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePride Perfect\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Celebrate love, equality, and rainbows with a bag full of gummy dicks.\u003cbr\u003e🍬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDeliciously Naughty\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Fruity flavors in every shape and size, because variety is the spice of life.\u003cbr\u003e😂\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGuaranteed Laughs\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Whether you send it anonymously or give it in person, the reaction is priceless.\u003cbr\u003e📬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShip It Anywhere\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Want to prank someone?\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShip a bag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003estraight to their door—no return address needed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWho’s It For?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eYour Fabulous Friends\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– The perfect gag gift for Pride celebrations, birthdays, or “just because” moments.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAnonymous Pranks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Send it to someone who could use a little sass and let the guessing game begin.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eParty People\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– A must-have for Pride events or as a sweet conversation starter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAnyone Who Loves to Laugh\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Because a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003erainbow bag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003enever disappoints.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSkip the boring gifts and go bold. The\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePride Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis the ultimate way to spread joy, color, and just the right amount of chaos. From\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003efunny gag gifts\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto hilarious pranks, this candy bag is guaranteed to brighten someone’s day (and maybe make them blush).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, what are you waiting for?\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSend a bag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eeat a bag of dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, and share the rainbow—it’s all love here. 🌈🍬🍆\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eIf you are sending to someone else make sure you put the recipient's\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50292002291987,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/IMG_9232.webp?v=1736496029"},{"product_id":"valentine-s-day-chocolate-dick-bundle-double-the-love","title":"Valentine’s Day Chocolate Dick Bundle – Double the Love!","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\" id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\n\u003carticle data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" id=\"main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-index=\"1\" class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product-info__liquid\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhy settle for boring chocolates when you can make a bold statement this Valentine’s Day? Our\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Chocolate Dick Bundle\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis here to deliver laughter, love, and a whole lot of sass. Perfect for your partner, your best friend, or that special someone who can take a joke, this bundle combines the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eBe Mine Valentine’s Chocolate Dick\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003eValentine’s Day Chocolate Dick\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor twice the fun and flavor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Included:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍫\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBe Mine Valentine’s Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e: Smooth, creamy milk chocolate shaped into an eye-catching (and jaw-dropping) masterpiece. The perfect way to say, “Be mine—and laugh while you’re at it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🍫\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Chocolate Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e: A sweet and hilarious gift designed to keep the fun going. Perfectly molded for maximum shock value and deliciousness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy You’ll Love This Bundle:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e✔\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTwice the Laughs\u003c\/strong\u003e: Double the chocolate dicks, double the fun.\u003cbr\u003e✔\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA Gift to Remember\u003c\/strong\u003e: Perfect for anyone who appreciates humor (and great chocolate).\u003cbr\u003e✔\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSweet and Sassy\u003c\/strong\u003e: A bold twist on the traditional Valentine’s Day chocolate box.\u003cbr\u003e✔\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for All Relationships\u003c\/strong\u003e: Whether romantic or platonic, this gift guarantees laughs and a good time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eForget the flowers and heart-shaped boxes—this Valentine’s Day, say it with\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003echocolate dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e. Sweet, delicious, and hilariously unexpected, this bundle is guaranteed to make their day unforgettable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform method=\"post\" action=\"https:\/\/dickatyourdoor.com\/cart\/add\" id=\"product-installment-form-template--16698601242775__main-8739458810007\" class=\"shopify-product-form\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50353217110291,"sku":null,"price":44.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/Valentine_s_Day_Dick.webp?v=1737445647"},{"product_id":"valentine-s-day-pack-gummy-bag-of-dicks-pop-up-dick-card-and-optional-dick-confetti","title":"Valentine’s Day Pack: Gummy Bag of Dicks, Pop-Up Dick Card, and Optional Dick Confetti","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\" id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\n\u003carticle data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" id=\"main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-index=\"1\" class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product-info__liquid\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product-info__liquid\"\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eValentine’s Day Pack: Gummy Bag of Dicks, Pop-Up Dick Card, and Optional Glitter or Confetti 🍬💌✨\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis Valentine’s Day, ditch the boring gifts and send something unforgettable (and slightly inappropriate). The\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ehas everything you need to bring laughter, sass, and maybe just a little chaos to someone’s day. It’s packed with\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edelicious gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e, a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003epop-up dick card\u003c\/strong\u003e, and the option to sprinkle in\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eglitter or dick confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003efor good measure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhat’s Inside:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e🍬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"I Thought You Could Use Some Dick\" Gummy Bag of Dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Sweet, fruity, and ridiculously hilarious, these\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edelicious gummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eare guaranteed to make anyone laugh (and snack happily).\u003cbr\u003e💌\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine's Day Pop-Up Dick Card\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– A bold, cheeky card that literally pops up to tell them to eat a dick, but in the cutest way possible.\u003cbr\u003e✨\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOptional Glitter or Dick Confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Because nothing says “I care” like glitter in places they’ll be finding for months.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy It’s the Perfect Valentine’s Day Gift:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003col\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGive Your Galentine Some Dick (You Knew They Were Missing)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Show your bestie you’re looking out for them. After all, every Galentine deserves a little extra love… in gummy form.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTell Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend There’s More Dick Coming\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– The pop-up card and\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eare just the start. Consider it a teaser for what’s to come later.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eConfuse the Shit Out of Someone Anonymously\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Send this to a friend, crush, or coworker, and let them wonder if “eat a dick” is a compliment or an insult. (It’s both.)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTell Your Asshole Ex to Eat a Dick\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e– Because closure tastes sweeter when it’s shaped like a gummy penis.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy They’ll Love It (Even If They Hate It):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003egummy dicks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eare\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edeliciously fruity\u003c\/strong\u003e, making them the perfect snack (and subtle roast).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe pop-up card is bold enough to say what you’re thinking but cute enough to soften the blow.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOptional glitter or\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003edick-shaped confetti\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eensures they’ll be talking about this gift long after Valentine’s Day.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eheart gift box for her, him, or anyone\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis your one-stop shop for laughter, awkwardness, and unforgettable memories. Whether it’s for your\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003egirlfriend\u003c\/strong\u003e,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eboyfriend\u003c\/strong\u003e,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGalentine\u003c\/strong\u003e, or that\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eex who really deserves it\u003c\/strong\u003e, the\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eValentine’s Day Pack\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis here to bring the fun.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo, go ahead—spread some joy, send some sass, and give someone the sweetest sack of dicks they’ll ever receive. 💌✨🍬\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\" class=\"shopify-product-form\" id=\"product-installment-form-template--16698601242775__main-8739458580631\" action=\"https:\/\/dickatyourdoor.com\/cart\/add\" method=\"post\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform method=\"post\" action=\"https:\/\/dickatyourdoor.com\/cart\/add\" id=\"product-installment-form-template--16698601242775__main-8739458810007\" class=\"shopify-product-form\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50353237819667,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/IMG_9317.webp?v=1737445794"},{"product_id":"valentine-s-day-chocolate-dick-bundle-double-the-love-copy","title":"I Love You....And Your Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\" id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\n\u003carticle data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" id=\"main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-index=\"1\" class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\" id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\n\u003carticle data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" id=\"main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-index=\"1\" class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product-info__liquid\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"I Love You...And Your Dick\" Valentine's Day Greeting Card\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis original greeting card pops open with a 3D penis and the message \"EAT A DICK\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLike any of our products, we'll also ship this 100% anonymously for you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\" class=\"shopify-product-form\" id=\"product-installment-form-template--16698601242775__main-8739458810007\" action=\"https:\/\/dickatyourdoor.com\/cart\/add\" method=\"post\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50353273536787,"sku":null,"price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.2148933972_lsqr.webp?v=1737445981"},{"product_id":"happy-valentines-day-big-dick-valentines-day-greeting-card","title":"Happy Valentine's Day Big Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\" id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\n\u003carticle data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" id=\"main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-index=\"1\" class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"product-info__liquid\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHappy Valentine's Day Big Dick - Valentine's Day Greeting Card\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis original greeting card pops open with a 3D penis.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLike any of our products, we'll also ship this 100% anonymously for you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIMPORTANT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003e Make sure you put the recipient's \u003cspan\u003ename\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003eaddress\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ein the shipping option. Otherwise it's you that ends up with the bag of dicks, albeit deservedly. \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cform method=\"post\" action=\"https:\/\/dickatyourdoor.com\/cart\/add\" id=\"product-installment-form-template--16698601242775__main-8739458810007\" class=\"shopify-product-form\" enctype=\"multipart\/form-data\"\u003e\u003c\/form\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50353277894931,"sku":null,"price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.2197458941_8nty.webp?v=1737446028"},{"product_id":"st-patricks-day-are-you-from-ireland-cause-my-penis-is-dublin-green-rope-snapback-cap-custom-embroidered-nsfw-hat","title":"St. Patricks Day Are You From Ireland Cause My Penis is Dublin Green Rope SnapBack Cap Custom Embroidered NSFW Funny Meme Hat","description":"\u003cdiv id=\"shopify-section-template--18222757642462__main-product\" class=\"shopify-section with-mobile-tab\"\u003e\n\u003carticle id=\"main-product\" class=\"m6pr m6pr-template--18222757642462__main-product\" data-template=\"template--18222757642462__main-product\"\u003e\u003cfooter class=\"m6tb static desktop-hide tabs-initialized\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tab-closed has-anchor\" data-index=\"1\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"tabs-inner\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAre You From Ireland cause I’m Dublin Custom Embroidered NSFW hat SnapBack\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cspan class=\"anchor\" id=\"section-info\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/footer\u003e\u003c\/article\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50604602065171,"sku":null,"price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/image_a6425252-6b2f-4c63-9991-8cddbca9e945.webp?v=1741089599"},{"product_id":"funny-penis-whiskey-decanter-unique-glass-decanter","title":"Funny Penis Whiskey Decanter – Unique Glass Dickanter","description":"\u003cul class=\"a-unordered-list a-vertical a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eCLASSIC DESIGN - Whether you're enjoying some whiskey, or sipping tequila straight, or want to craft some quality cocktails, you'll sip in style with this bourbon decanter set\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003eVERSATILE - From old fashioned cocktails to Shirley Temple mocktails, or a formal dinner party to a casual get-together, this innovative whiskey set will fit right in on any table, with any liquor\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"a-spacing-mini\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"a-list-item\"\u003ePERFECT PRESENT - Anyone looking to up their bar game would love to have our whiskey decanter to complete their collection Give it to a known mixologist, a beginning bartender, or a good friend!\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51350081339667,"sku":"","price":69.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/71KW2Jjf4ML._AC_SL1500_720x_22e0c4a2-2ec6-4999-8d44-5ab3c016faf9.webp?v=1745907020"},{"product_id":"dick-towel","title":"Dick Towel","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe Official Dick Towel.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAs seen on Always Sunny in Philadelphia, now available at DicksByMail.com!!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2 align=\"center\"\u003eIt’s a tiny bird, a huge unit, and tight buns all rolled into one funny, functional and sexual towel. Brought to you by Mac, Dennis and Charlie from \u003ca href=\"http:\/\/www.fxnetworks.com\/shows\/its-always-sunny-in-philadelphia\/episodes\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" target=\"_blank\"\u003eIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia\u003c\/a\u003e, this towel will change YOUR life. The \u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/Dick-Towel-386596723520\/\"\u003eDick Towel\u003c\/a\u003e \u003c\/strong\u003eworks on a \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/dick-towels.myshopify.com\/products\/girl-dick-towel\"\u003egirl\u003c\/a\u003e too. See our informative independent video below and get yours today, bro.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e**Recipient and purchaser must be 18 years of age or older**\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cspan size=\"4\"\u003e*By ordering you are agreeing to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy found at the checkout page and page footer*\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"1 Dick Towel \/ White Male","offer_id":51762146672915,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"1 Dick Towel \/ White Female","offer_id":51762146705683,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"1 Dick Towel \/ Black Male","offer_id":51762146738451,"sku":"","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2 Dick Towels \/ White Male","offer_id":51762146771219,"sku":"","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2 Dick Towels \/ White Female","offer_id":51762146803987,"sku":"","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2 Dick Towels \/ Black Male","offer_id":51762146836755,"sku":"","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/dicktowel_white_1024x1024_720x_becb1bb1-c522-4d49-b404-f655e128398f.jpg?v=1747372727"},{"product_id":"i-won-my-drivers-license-in-a-raffle-at-big-bobbys-indoor-rodeo-vape-museum","title":"I Won My Driver's License in a Raffle at Big Bobby's Indoor Rodeo \u0026 Vape Museum","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"887\" data-end=\"972\"\u003eI Won My Driver’s License in a Raffle at Big Bobby’s Indoor Rodeo and Vape Museum\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"974\" data-end=\"1023\"\u003eThis Is a Funny Sticker. It Is Also a Warning.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1025\" data-end=\"1244\"\u003eMost people get their driver’s license at the DMV. You got yours between a fog machine and a mechanical bull while vape clouds blasted Free Bird in the background. This is not a funny sticker. This is your\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1225\" data-end=\"1241\"\u003eorigin story\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1246\" data-end=\"1497\"\u003eAt 85 x 25 inches, this weatherproof vinyl\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1289\" data-end=\"1307\"\u003ebumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e(or magnet, if you’re indecisive like Bobby himself) lets everyone on the road know that rules were bent, forms were forged, and somehow you’re still legally allowed to operate a vehicle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1499\" data-end=\"1596\"\u003eBig Bobby’s Indoor Rodeo and Vape Museum may not be state-certified. But your story? Legendary.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1598\" data-end=\"1601\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1603\" data-end=\"1632\"\u003eWhat Even Is Big Bobby’s\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1634\" data-end=\"1894\"\u003eBig Bobby’s Indoor Rodeo and Vape Museum is a place of myth, mystery, and questionable zoning. One side has a full-scale mechanical bull ring with AstroTurf and LED lights. The other side has 47 glass cases dedicated to vape pens that look like katana hilts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1896\" data-end=\"1959\"\u003eYou didn’t just win a raffle there.\u003cbr data-start=\"1931\" data-end=\"1934\"\u003eYou\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1938\" data-end=\"1948\"\u003ebecame\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003esomeone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1961\" data-end=\"2068\"\u003eThis \u003cstrong data-start=\"1966\" data-end=\"1983\"\u003esticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis a public record of your spiritual rebirth and questionable driving credentials.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2070\" data-end=\"2073\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2075\" data-end=\"2121\"\u003eFunny Sticker Specs for Dangerous Legends\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2123\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2123\" data-end=\"2153\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2125\" data-end=\"2153\"\u003eSize 85 inches x 25 inches\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2154\" data-end=\"2203\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2156\" data-end=\"2203\"\u003eMaterial Commercial-grade, weatherproof vinyl\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2204\" data-end=\"2247\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2206\" data-end=\"2247\"\u003eFinish Semi-gloss like Bobby’s forehead\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2248\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2250\" data-end=\"2259\"\u003eOptions\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2262\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2262\" data-end=\"2303\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2264\" data-end=\"2303\"\u003eVinyl Sticker Permanent like your DUI\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2306\" data-end=\"2340\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2308\" data-end=\"2340\"\u003eMagnet 20 mil Easily removable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2343\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2345\" data-end=\"2405\"\u003eMagnet 30 mil Built for cold climates or rodeo dust storms\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2407\" data-end=\"2516\"\u003eBuilt to survive sun, rain, snow, and whatever chemical reaction is happening in the museum’s back hallway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2518\" data-end=\"2521\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2523\" data-end=\"2559\"\u003eWhy You Need This Funny Sticker\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2561\" data-end=\"2862\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2561\" data-end=\"2624\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2563\" data-end=\"2624\"\u003eBecause you did not pass your driving test. You\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2618\"\u003ewon\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2625\" data-end=\"2679\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2627\" data-end=\"2679\"\u003eBecause everyone on the road deserves fair warning\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2682\" data-end=\"2749\"\u003eBecause this bumper sticker raises more questions than it answers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2750\" data-end=\"2819\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2752\" data-end=\"2819\"\u003eBecause small businesses like ours are powered by people like you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2820\" data-end=\"2862\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2822\" data-end=\"2862\"\u003eBecause it’s a legally admissible flex\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2864\" data-end=\"3018\"\u003ePut this sticker on your bumper, cooler, water bottle, laptop, toolbox, vape case, or parole officer’s clipboard. Wherever it lands, it tells the truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3020\" data-end=\"3023\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3025\" data-end=\"3057\"\u003eMagnet vs Sticker Breakdown\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3059\" data-end=\"3080\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3059\" data-end=\"3078\"\u003eSticker Version\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3081\" data-end=\"3212\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3081\" data-end=\"3094\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3083\" data-end=\"3094\"\u003ePermanent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3095\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3097\" data-end=\"3163\"\u003eGreat for vehicles, water bottles, laptops, and vending machines\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3164\" data-end=\"3212\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3166\" data-end=\"3212\"\u003eRecommended for drivers committed to the bit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3214\" data-end=\"3233\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3214\" data-end=\"3231\"\u003eMagnet 20 mil\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3234\" data-end=\"3310\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3234\" data-end=\"3252\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3236\" data-end=\"3252\"\u003eRepositionable\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3253\" data-end=\"3310\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3255\" data-end=\"3310\"\u003eGreat for folks who also bought their car in a raffle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3312\" data-end=\"3331\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3312\" data-end=\"3329\"\u003eMagnet 30 mil\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3461\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3332\" data-end=\"3390\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3334\" data-end=\"3390\"\u003eSurvives extreme temperatures and regional vape storms\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3391\" data-end=\"3461\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3393\" data-end=\"3461\"\u003eBuilt for long haulers, winter warriors, and off-road rodeo champs\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3463\" data-end=\"3563\"\u003eNot sure if your bumper is metal? Test it with a fridge magnet. Or don’t. We trust your instincts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3565\" data-end=\"3568\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3570\" data-end=\"3611\"\u003eApplication Instructions for Outlaws\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3613\" data-end=\"3757\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3613\" data-end=\"3624\"\u003eSticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3624\" data-end=\"3627\"\u003e1 Clean the surface\u003cbr data-start=\"3646\" data-end=\"3649\"\u003e2 Peel backing with confidence\u003cbr data-start=\"3679\" data-end=\"3682\"\u003e3 Apply like Bobby’s watching\u003cbr data-start=\"3711\" data-end=\"3714\"\u003e4 Let it cure for 24 hours before washing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3759\" data-end=\"3907\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3759\" data-end=\"3769\"\u003eMagnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3769\" data-end=\"3772\"\u003e1 Clean surface\u003cbr data-start=\"3787\" data-end=\"3790\"\u003e2 Slap it on flat, magnetic metal\u003cbr data-start=\"3823\" data-end=\"3826\"\u003e3 Remove and wipe behind it every few weeks\u003cbr data-start=\"3869\" data-end=\"3872\"\u003e4 Avoid extreme curves and regret\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3909\" data-end=\"3912\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3914\" data-end=\"3922\"\u003eFAQ\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3924\" data-end=\"4015\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3924\" data-end=\"3960\"\u003eQ Is this really a funny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"3960\" data-end=\"3963\"\u003eA Yes It is dangerously funny and highly confusing\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4017\" data-end=\"4101\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4017\" data-end=\"4074\"\u003eQ Will this make people think I should not be driving\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4074\" data-end=\"4077\"\u003eA Yes That’s the point\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4183\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4103\" data-end=\"4152\"\u003eQ What if I didn’t actually go to Big Bobby’s\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4152\" data-end=\"4155\"\u003eA You have now spiritually\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4185\" data-end=\"4244\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4185\" data-end=\"4223\"\u003eQ Is it legal to use this in court\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4223\" data-end=\"4226\"\u003eA Absolutely not\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4246\" data-end=\"4334\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4246\" data-end=\"4309\"\u003eQ Can I get this as a gift for someone who should not drive\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"4309\" data-end=\"4312\"\u003eA Yes and you should\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4336\" data-end=\"4339\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4341\" data-end=\"4387\"\u003eFinal Thoughts From the Vape-Filled Rodeo\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4389\" data-end=\"4501\"\u003eYour license might be fake.\u003cbr data-start=\"4416\" data-end=\"4419\"\u003eYour driving might be questionable.\u003cbr data-start=\"4454\" data-end=\"4457\"\u003eBut your commitment to chaos? Untouchable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4503\" data-end=\"4661\"\u003eThis\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4508\" data-end=\"4525\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis your official statement. A tribute to weirdness. A flex for the freaks.\u003cbr data-start=\"4600\" data-end=\"4603\"\u003eBobby didn’t ask questions. He just handed you the keys.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4663\" data-end=\"4707\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4663\" data-end=\"4705\"\u003eSlap it on. Floor it. Vape with honor.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eS\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003ehop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Bumper Sticker","offer_id":51814070190355,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bumper Magnet","offer_id":51814070223123,"sku":null,"price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.6941531339_bo9y.webp?v=1748419316"},{"product_id":"happy-birthday-bag-of-dicks","title":"Happy Birthday Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003ch5\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Ultimate Ring Toss Game for Every Hangout.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h5\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you bring the energy, HOOKS XPLR is built to match it. This\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ebattle-tested, collapsible ring toss game\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis designed for people who never back down from a challenge. Whether you’re at a tailgate, a beach bonfire, or just calling out your next opponent at home,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ethis game is built for moments you won’t forget.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCrafted from aerospace-grade aluminum\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand coated in a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003erugged, weather-resistant finish\u003c\/strong\u003e, the XPLR is made to handle whatever you throw at it. No setup, no hassle—just grab it, unfold it, and start\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003elanding shots and talking smack.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e💥\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBring the heat. Challenge your crew. Play anywhere.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51874119680275,"sku":null,"price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/IMG_9244_720x_1.webp?v=1749021182"},{"product_id":"my-wife-left-me-after-i-sat-on-my-gun-and-shot-my-entire-dick-and-balls-off-at-cracker-barrel","title":"My Wife Left Me After I Sat On My Gun and Shot My Entire Dick and Balls Off at Cracker Barrel","description":"\u003ch2\u003e My Wife Left Me After I Sat on My Gun and Shot My Dick and Balls Off Sticker – The Most Alpha Gun Sticker on the Market\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe My Wife Left Me After I Sat on My Gun and Shot My Dick and Balls Off Sticker is for the real ones. The warriors. The men who live life at full throttle and laugh in the face of danger—until danger takes its revenge in the worst way possible. It’s not just a gun sticker—it’s a battlefield memoir, a survival story, and an unhinged flex all rolled into one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch4\u003e🔫 ONE MOMENT OF CARELESSNESS. A LIFETIME OF UNSTOPPABLE POWER. 🔫\u003c\/h4\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome people brag about their marksmanship. Some people show off their gun collection. But you? You took things to the next level. You became the legend, the myth, the cautionary tale whispered in gun shops and hunting lodges across the nation.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSlap this high-quality vinyl sticker on your truck, rifle case, cooler, or straight onto your steel-plated codpiece (for legal reasons, don’t) and let the world know:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 Not everyone makes it out of a self-inflicted point-blank nut shot. But YOU did.\u003cbr\u003e🚗 This car may not have balls, but it’s got horsepower.\u003cbr\u003e🔫 The Second Amendment never warned you about THIS.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if someone asks, “Dude… is this real?” Just light a cigarette, stare into the distance, and mutter, ‘It is now.’\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy This Gun Sticker is a Must-Have\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e✅ Tells a Story So Insane, People Will Demand More Details – But they won’t be ready for them.\u003cbr\u003e✅ 8.5\" x 3\" of Pure Adrenaline and Regret – Big enough to raise eyebrows, small enough to dodge lawsuits.\u003cbr\u003e✅ Premium Weatherproof Vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and impervious to further ballistics-related tragedies.\u003cbr\u003e✅ Sticks to Anything – Trucks, gun safes, bulletproof vests, divorce papers.\u003cbr\u003e✅ A Certified Sticker – Because what’s the Second Amendment without a little friendly fire?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhere to Stick This Sticker for Maximum Chaos\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚗 Your Truck Bumper – So tailgaters know you’ve already lost everything.\u003cbr\u003e🔫 Your Gun Case – For when you need a reminder to check your safety.\u003cbr\u003e🚰 Your Water Bottle – Stay hydrated, stay battle-scarred.\u003cbr\u003e💔 Your Ex-Wife’s Mailbox (For Legal Reasons, Don’t) – But it would be funny.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 Your Friend’s Car Who Still Has His Balls – Let him know he’s living on borrowed time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy Losing Everything Makes You More Powerful\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMost people:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎯 Own guns and use them responsibly.\u003cbr\u003e😬 Have never shot themselves in the worst way possible.\u003cbr\u003e💍 Still have a wife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 Did what no one else dared.\u003cbr\u003e🚗 Lost everything but gained a killer sticker.\u003cbr\u003e💀 Understand that true power comes from embracing absolute disaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis sticker isn’t just a joke—it’s a warning, a badge of honor, and a psychological weapon all in one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWho Needs This Sticker?\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 Sticker Collectors Who Love Unhinged Chaos – This belongs in your collection immediately.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 People Who Want to Dominate Every Conversation – Because this story is unbeatable.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 That One Friend Who Thinks They’re Invincible – They need this wake-up call.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 Anyone Who Knows That Tragedy + Time = Comedy – And this is comedy gold.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 People Who Just Love Watching Strangers React in Traffic – Peak entertainment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSticker Specs – Built for Maximum Tactical Disaster\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🔥 Size: 8.5\" x 3\" – Large enough to be absurd, small enough to keep it legendary.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 Material: Premium vinyl – Waterproof, UV-resistant, and friendly-fire-proof.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 Finish: Glossy – Because every tragedy deserves a little shine.\u003cbr\u003e🔥 Durability: Built to survive rain, heartbreak, and high-caliber regrets.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhy You Need This Gun Sticker Immediately\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could be spending your money on boring, responsible things like safety courses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOR…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou could be publicly declaring your dominance over fate, making people in traffic wonder what the hell they just read, and ensuring that everyone around you understands you’ve been through things they wouldn’t survive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe My Wife Left Me After I Sat on My Gun and Shot My Dick and Balls Off Sticker isn’t just a funny bumper sticker. It’s a warning label, a personal trauma dump, and the best damn conversation starter money can buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd if someone asks, “Is this sticker serious?” Just stare blankly ahead and say, ‘You’ll never know.’\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eHow to Cement Your Legacy in 4 Easy Steps\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e1️⃣ Click ‘Add to Cart’ – Because war stories deserve to be immortalized.\u003cbr\u003e2️⃣ Check Out – Fast, easy, and less painful than your last mistake.\u003cbr\u003e3️⃣ Wait for Delivery – We ship fast, unlike your recovery.\u003cbr\u003e4️⃣ Stick It Somewhere Legendary – Then prepare to answer some really awkward questions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Bumper Sticker","offer_id":51897012748563,"sku":"","price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bumper Magnet","offer_id":51897012781331,"sku":"","price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.6541255043_43af.webp?v=1749109765"},{"product_id":"gummy-christmas-bag-of-dicks-1","title":"Gummy Christmas Bag of Dicks","description":"\u003cp\u003e🎄\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChristmas Bag of D*cks\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e🎄\u003cbr\u003e\u003cem\u003eBecause nothing says \"Season's Greetings\" quite like a bag of...well, you know.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEver thought, “Wow, I wish I could anonymously send someone a tasteful, delicious, totally gummy message that says ‘you’re a d\u003cem\u003eck’ without saying it?” Well, guess what?\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eHere’s your chance!\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e🎁 Our Premium Bag of Gummy Dcks\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis here to spread holiday cheer in the most hilariously passive-aggressive way possible.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese delightful, chewable d*cks are 100% edible, fully festive, and guaranteed to deliver the holiday spirit with a dash of sass. Whether it’s for a friend, a colleague, or that special someone who’s been a little too naughty this year, they’ll know exactly what you mean. And the best part? You can send this bag of sweet insults\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem\u003ecompletely anonymously\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ewith a stock message—no name, no shame, just gummy greatness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🚨\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNote\u003c\/strong\u003e: These will start shipping in November, so you’ve got time to get on the “Nice List” before deciding to spread the d*ck love! 🕒🎅\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e🎄\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eChristmas Bag of D*cks:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eBecause this holiday season, they’re what they eat! 🎄\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51969420132627,"sku":null,"price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/HigherQualityChristmasImage_c4d5c5fa-7ccf-48a7-88c9-6f9f783e67e2.webp?v=1751034081"},{"product_id":"penis-decanter-1","title":"Penis Decanter","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eShips in 3 days. Sorry, but we can't ship internationally because our packages just can't handle all the excitement of crossing borders! They tend to get too anxious and start hyperventilating when faced with all those official restrictions.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIMPRESS WITH THIS TRULY UNIQUE FUNNY DECANTER: Your guests will be awed by this Funny Decanter by The Wine Savant. Perfect To Hold Wine, Whiskey, and any other liquor you prefer.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAN ABSOLUTE MUST DECANTER: This decanter is a must-have for any household that enjoys entertaining and a great laugh. It is uniquely shaped and a great entertaining solution for your next gathering. Perfect for bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and housewarming gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBEAUTIFUL WITH HANDCRAFTED DETAILS: Entertain with the daring and dramatic. Our outstanding 950ml glass decanter adds a unique accent to a home bar. It stands at 10\" tall and has a width of 6.7\".\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003eGOOD FOR MANY DRINKS AND ANY BAR: Great for vodka, liquor, whiskey, and more, this is one decanter that will make you stand out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePERFECT GIFT: Groomsmen\/ Bridesmaid gift - Wedding gift- Graduation gift - Anniversary - Just Because Gift- Gift for whiskey lovers and for all occasions\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":51969421476115,"sku":"","price":89.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.4437165101_qgdz_1800x1800_7547c1c9-7400-408c-80bb-8b6518a90f32.webp?v=1751034182"},{"product_id":"dont-be-a-dick-socks","title":"Don't Be A Dick Socks","description":"\u003cp\u003eSpread a message of kindness with our \"Don't Be A Dick\" funny socks! 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This outrageously graphic birthday card doesn’t beat around the bush. Open it up and BOOM: a proud, precision-engineered paper d*ck springs to attention, complete with low-hanging... sentiment. Whether it's for your bestie, your brother, or that coworker who won't shut up about turning 30—this card lets them know exactly how you feel: lovingly hostile.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"489\" data-end=\"520\"\u003e🍆 Pop-up junk in glorious 3D\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"523\" data-end=\"582\"\u003e🎉 Covered in d*cks, inside and out—just like your friend\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"585\" data-end=\"632\"\u003e📬 Includes envelope, discretion not included\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"747\" data-is-last-node=\"\" data-is-only-node=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"634\" data-end=\"663\"\u003eHappy Birthday, Dickhead:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because nothing says “I remembered your birthday” like an unsolicited pop-up penis.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Rain Parade","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52536295063827,"sku":"RP-POC-HBD","price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/funny-pop-up-card-happy-birthday-dickhead-front-open.jpg?v=1761350289"},{"product_id":"sucking-dick-i-d-rather-be-sucking-down-marlboro-cigarettes-and-dick","title":"Sucking Dick? I’d Rather Be Sucking Down Marlboro Cigarettes... And Dick Bumper Sticker","description":"\u003ch2 data-start=\"305\" data-end=\"378\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"307\" data-end=\"378\"\u003eFunny Sticker – “Sucking Dick? I’d Rather Be Sucking Down Marlboro”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"307\" data-end=\"378\"\u003eThis\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"578\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eisn’t subtle. It’s the exact opposite of subtle. It’s a nicotine-stained middle finger to good taste, small talk, and every beige Toyota Camry that’s ever tailgated you.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"380\" data-end=\"554\"\u003eThere’s bold.\u003cbr data-start=\"393\" data-end=\"396\"\u003eThere’s brash.\u003cbr data-start=\"410\" data-end=\"413\"\u003eAnd then there’s\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"430\" data-end=\"444\"\u003ethis sticker\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e— a cigarette-smoking skeleton proudly announcing they’re living their truth, nicotine-first, decorum-last.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"752\" data-end=\"755\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"810\"\u003e💀\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"763\" data-end=\"810\"\u003eA Love Letter to Bad Habits \u0026amp; Good Branding\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"812\" data-end=\"973\"\u003eSome people have “Live, Laugh, Love.”\u003cbr data-start=\"849\" data-end=\"852\"\u003eYou? You’ve got\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"973\"\u003e“Sucking Dick? I’d rather be sucking down the smooth, rich taste of Marlboro Cigarettes \u0026amp; also dick.”\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"975\" data-end=\"1261\"\u003eThis\u003cstrong data-start=\"980\" data-end=\"1004\"\u003e bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eis the highway manifesto for the unfiltered among us — those who know irony is an art form, and tragedy goes best with a menthol. The cigarette-smoking skeleton design says it all: timeless, classy, and ready to crawl out of its coffin for one last drag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1263\" data-end=\"1457\"\u003eStick it on your car, your cooler, your casket — anywhere that could use a little existential spice and a reminder that you, too, are a nicotine-powered gremlin with impeccable comedic timing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1459\" data-end=\"1462\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"1464\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003e🚗\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1470\" data-end=\"1521\"\u003eFunny Bumper Sticker Energy, 100% Frog-Approved\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1523\" data-end=\"1599\"\u003eFrog Mustard doesn’t make “cute.”\u003cbr data-start=\"1556\" data-end=\"1559\"\u003eWe make chaos that sticks — literally.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1601\" data-end=\"1802\"\u003eThis\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1606\" data-end=\"1630\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003etells every Prius in a 3-mile radius that you contain multitudes: you’re horny\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"1710\" data-end=\"1715\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eaddicted to Marlboros. A poet. A visionary. Possibly barred from your local Denny’s.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1804\" data-end=\"2020\"\u003eEach sticker is printed on thick, glossy,\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1846\" data-end=\"1868\"\u003eweatherproof vinyl\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e— tough enough to handle UV rays, rainstorms, and judgmental glares from PTA moms. It’s a work of art that’ll hold up longer than most relationships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2022\" data-end=\"2025\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2027\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003e🔥\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2033\" data-end=\"2086\"\u003eVinyl Sticker or Car Magnet? Choose Your Fighter.\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2088\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2092\" data-end=\"2109\"\u003eVinyl Sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2110\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2112\" data-end=\"2156\"\u003eGlossy, vibrant, and permanently unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2157\" data-end=\"2200\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2159\" data-end=\"2200\"\u003ePrinted on premium, UV-laminated vinyl.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2201\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2203\" data-end=\"2280\"\u003eSlaps onto your bumper, laptop, or cigarette case with purpose and passion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2282\" data-end=\"2300\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2286\" data-end=\"2300\"\u003eCar Magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2301\" data-end=\"2331\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2303\" data-end=\"2331\"\u003eSame art, zero commitment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2332\" data-end=\"2416\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2334\" data-end=\"2416\"\u003eIndustrial-grade 30 mil magnet strength — because your chaos deserves stability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2417\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2419\" data-end=\"2520\"\u003ePop it on your car when you’re feeling feral; pull it off when you have to drive Grandma to church.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2522\" data-end=\"2667\"\u003eWhether you go sticker or magnet, you’re getting that\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2576\" data-end=\"2592\"\u003eFrog Mustard\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003epromise: unapologetically weird, built to last, and perfectly offensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2669\" data-end=\"2672\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"2674\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003e💨\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2680\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003eA Weatherproof Sticker That Outlasts Your Lungs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2733\" data-end=\"2859\"\u003eOur\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2737\" data-end=\"2762\"\u003eweatherproof stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003edon’t flake, fade, or crumble under pressure — unlike your willpower at a gas station counter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2861\" data-end=\"2892\"\u003eThey’re laminated to survive:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2893\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2893\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2895\" data-end=\"2901\"\u003eRain\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2902\" data-end=\"2909\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2904\" data-end=\"2909\"\u003eSun\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2910\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2912\" data-end=\"2923\"\u003eRoad grit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2924\" data-end=\"2947\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2926\" data-end=\"2947\"\u003eExistential despair\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2948\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2950\" data-end=\"3008\"\u003eEvery single “that’s inappropriate” look you’ll ever get\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3010\" data-end=\"3185\"\u003eEach one is printed in-house with premium eco-solvent inks that deliver sharp color and unholy energy. Your skeleton? Crisp. Your Marlboro? Glowing. Your vibe? Chaotic-good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3187\" data-end=\"3190\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3192\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003e🪦\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3198\" data-end=\"3251\"\u003eWhy This Design Slaps Harder Than a Nicotine Buzz\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3253\" data-end=\"3429\"\u003eBecause it’s\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3266\" data-end=\"3275\"\u003efunny\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e— but it’s also art.\u003cbr data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3299\"\u003eIt’s absurdist Americana. It’s a love letter to bad decisions, late-night drive-thrus, and coping mechanisms wrapped in sarcasm.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3431\" data-end=\"3558\"\u003eThe\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3435\" data-end=\"3452\"\u003efunny sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003ereads like something a drunk cowboy would tattoo on his ribcage at 3 a.m. And that’s exactly the point.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3560\" data-end=\"3643\"\u003ePeople don’t buy this because it’s tasteful.\u003cbr data-start=\"3604\" data-end=\"3607\"\u003eThey buy it because it’s\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"3632\" data-end=\"3640\"\u003ehonest\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3645\" data-end=\"3648\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"3650\" data-end=\"3705\"\u003e🐸\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3656\" data-end=\"3705\"\u003eMade by Frog Mustard – Sticker Lords of Chaos\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3707\" data-end=\"3933\"\u003eAt Frog Mustard, we specialize in\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3741\" data-end=\"3766\"\u003efunny bumper stickers\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand magnets that make people laugh, honk, or file complaints.\u003cbr data-start=\"3828\" data-end=\"3831\"\u003eWe’re proudly based in the PNW, where the rain never stops, and neither does our questionable humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3935\" data-end=\"4160\"\u003eEvery design is made by actual human degenerates with caffeine addictions and a printer that’s seen too much.\u003cbr data-start=\"4044\" data-end=\"4047\"\u003eWe test everything in real life — on cars, fridges, laptops, and the occasional emotional support water bottle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4162\" data-end=\"4256\"\u003eIf you want boring, go buy an “Eat Pray Love” magnet.\u003cbr data-start=\"4215\" data-end=\"4218\"\u003eIf you want\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cem data-start=\"4230\" data-end=\"4238\"\u003eiconic\u003c\/em\u003e, grab this one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4258\" data-end=\"4261\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4263\" data-end=\"4299\"\u003e🧃\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4269\" data-end=\"4299\"\u003eReal Specs (For the Nerds)\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4301\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4301\" data-end=\"4365\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4303\" data-end=\"4365\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4303\" data-end=\"4318\"\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e8.5″ × 3″ — standard Frog Mustard chaos size\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4366\" data-end=\"4433\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4368\" data-end=\"4433\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4368\" data-end=\"4381\"\u003eMaterial:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eThick laminated vinyl or heavy-duty 30 mil magnet\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4434\" data-end=\"4481\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4436\" data-end=\"4481\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4436\" data-end=\"4447\"\u003eFinish:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eGlossy with vivid, crisp colors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4482\" data-end=\"4514\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4484\" data-end=\"4514\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4484\" data-end=\"4501\"\u003eWeatherproof:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eAbsolutely\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4515\" data-end=\"4577\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4517\" data-end=\"4577\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4517\" data-end=\"4532\"\u003eDurability:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eUp to 5 years outdoors or 10 years indoors\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4578\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4580\" data-end=\"4660\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4580\" data-end=\"4591\"\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eSkeleton with a cig, Marlboro-core typography, existential swagger\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4662\" data-end=\"4665\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4667\" data-end=\"4712\"\u003e🧩\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4673\" data-end=\"4712\"\u003eHow to Apply (or Deploy Your Chaos)\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003col data-start=\"4714\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4714\" data-end=\"4738\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4717\" data-end=\"4738\"\u003eClean your surface.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4739\" data-end=\"4761\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4742\" data-end=\"4761\"\u003ePeel the backing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4762\" data-end=\"4810\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4765\" data-end=\"4810\"\u003eStick firmly (or slap, we’re not the cops).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4811\" data-end=\"4863\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4814\" data-end=\"4863\"\u003eStep back. Light a cigarette. Admire your work.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4864\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4867\" data-end=\"4892\"\u003eWhisper, “This is art.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ol\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"4894\" data-end=\"4897\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"4899\" data-end=\"4948\"\u003e🚬\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4905\" data-end=\"4948\"\u003eFunny Bumper Sticker Keywords in Action\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"4950\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"4950\" data-end=\"5025\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"4952\" data-end=\"5025\"\u003eThis\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"4957\" data-end=\"4981\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eturns every drive into a statement piece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5026\" data-end=\"5095\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5028\" data-end=\"5095\"\u003eThe\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5032\" data-end=\"5049\"\u003evinyl sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eversion is bold, durable, and unapologetic.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5096\" data-end=\"5160\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5098\" data-end=\"5160\"\u003ePrefer flexibility? The\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5122\" data-end=\"5136\"\u003ecar magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003emakes chaos portable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"5161\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5163\" data-end=\"5261\"\u003eEvery version is a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5182\" data-end=\"5206\"\u003eweatherproof sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e, built for road rage and nicotine withdrawals alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5263\" data-end=\"5266\"\u003e\n\u003ch2 data-start=\"5268\" data-end=\"5281\"\u003e❓\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5273\" data-end=\"5281\"\u003eFAQs\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5283\" data-end=\"5331\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5287\" data-end=\"5329\"\u003e1. Is this funny sticker weatherproof?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5332\" data-end=\"5461\"\u003eAbsolutely. It’s a\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5351\" data-end=\"5375\"\u003eweatherproof sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eprinted on UV-laminated vinyl designed to survive rain, sun, and tears of laughter.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5463\" data-end=\"5466\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5468\" data-end=\"5524\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5472\" data-end=\"5522\"\u003e2. Can I put it on my car as a magnet instead?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5525\" data-end=\"5672\"\u003eYes! The\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5534\" data-end=\"5548\"\u003ecar magnet\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eoption sticks like a dream but removes easily — ideal for commitment-phobes and people who sometimes have to look normal.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5674\" data-end=\"5677\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"5679\" data-end=\"5727\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5683\" data-end=\"5725\"\u003e3. Will people get mad at me for this?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003eOh, definitely. And that’s half the fun. This\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"5774\" data-end=\"5798\"\u003efunny bumper sticker\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eisn’t for the faint of heart — it’s for the bold, the unfiltered, and the spiritually exhausted Marlboro enjoyers among us.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"5728\" data-end=\"5924\"\u003eDad jokes... but better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"5926\" data-end=\"5929\"\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.frogmustardstickers.com\/collections\/all\" target=\"_self\"\u003eShop All\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003ca title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/frogmustardstickers\" target=\"_self\"\u003eFollow us on Instagram\u003c\/a\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","offers":[{"title":"Bumper Sticker","offer_id":52569105432851,"sku":null,"price":10.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Bumper Magnet","offer_id":52569105465619,"sku":null,"price":14.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0015\/5726\/6543\/files\/il_fullxfull.7386631241_2wy2.webp?v=1761804735"}],"url":"https:\/\/suatmm.com\/en-au\/collections\/penis-products.oembed?page=5","provider":"Shut Up and Take my MONEY","version":"1.0","type":"link"}